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3.1 TEN SIGNS OF RELATIONSHIP ABUSE

== #1. Rick Doble's personal relationship test: How do you feel when you are around the other person?

Do you feel good about yourself? Or do you find that you are thinking angry thoughts? Are you a little anxious? Are you at peace? Pay attention to all your feelings both positive and negative. Notice I am not asking how you feel about the other person but about yourself when you are with that person. In my experience this tells you everything. If your feelings are markedly negative and different from your usual sense of yourself, then something is probably wrong.

== #2. You cannot shake the feeling that something is wrong, but you cannot put your finger on it.

You are often on edge; you find that you are censoring your behavior to avoid a conflict. You feel that you never know when the next fight will start or what will cause it to start. The feeling is of walking on egg shells.

== #3. You have a feeling of being trapped, of frustration, of being locked into something that you are not happy with (but not your job or your life situation).

== #4. You have a feeling of being distorted or twisted.

You have a sense that the person you really are is being changed and twisted by the relationship into someone else.

== #5. You have a feeling of being drained, tired and exhausted.

You have to do most of the work, either physically or emotionally, much of which may be avoiding potential blow-ups with the abuser.

It takes a special kind of person to help others get out of abusive relationships. People who are interested in helping others may consider online social work programs.

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