AbusiveLove.com -- Abuse Terms
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1.11 CODEPENDENT, ENABLER -- PSYCHOLOGY ABUSE TERMS, CONCEPTS==== Codependent, Enabler MEANING: In traditional psycho-babble, the person who allows the abuser to continue and live with his/her behavior. This person is often seen as one who asks to be abused or who is a willing victim. PERSONAL NOTE FROM RICK DOBLE: I disagree with this notion. The myth is that enablers allow abused people to continue their abuse, that enablers are willing victims who look for people to abuse them. I have a lot of problems with this notion. As Marie-France Hirigoyen points out in her book "Stalking the Soul" abusers are attracted to many so called enablers because of their strengths and positive outlook. While so called enablers might want to help others (is this wrong?) blaming them for allowing the abuse is a mistake. The so called enablers may have been brought up in abusive families and therefore tend to find relationships with abusive people, but this is very different from being a victim. RELATED WORDS AND PHRASES: dependent, mutually dependent, allowing === Definition and article about Codependent=== For more about Codependent, Enabler |
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