Prev | Next | Contents

4.12 IS ABUSE A THROW BACK TO CHILDHOOD?

Abuse is, in a sense, a regression to a childish way of arguing and behaving. It is about raw power and control over the other person. Think about the kinds of arguments you had as a child. They often involved name calling, yelling, coercion, humiliation, rebellion, resistance to any control, desire to control another, threatening, intimidating body language, etc. This is a behavior very similar to abuse, especially that of an older child to a younger child or a more powerful child to a weaker child.

True.com’s safer online dating service
Take True.com's FREE True Compatibility Test

This is why abusive behavior is:

== #1. so powerful as it is a fundamental, basic struggle between two people that goes back to our earliest childhood

== #2. so easy to push our buttons because it is bringing up an immature way of negotiating which we all engaged in as children

== #3. so easy to throw us off track, to distract us because we are being taken back to a very different arena, the arena of childhood

== #4. able to bring childish emotions to the surface and then continue the argument with these passionate childish emotions in charge of the discussion

Prev | Next | Contents