Prev | Next | Contents

1.14 DEMONSTRATIVE -- PSYCHOLOGY ABUSE TERMS, CONCEPTS

==== Demonstrative

MEANING: Showing affection or emotions often through touch but also with expressive communication and body language.

Being able to express one's feeling is crucial to good relationships and personal psychological health. Showing one's affection for another by occasional caresses, for example, is essential in a marriage, not just saying the words, "I love you." When you do show your feelings in this way, you are giving out much more than you can verbalize. This is healthy both for you and for the other, whether between wife and husband or mother and child.

PERSONAL NOTE FROM RICK DOBLE: I believe that touch is an essential need. We know that babies thrive on touch as do cats and dogs, so why not people? Modern society puts severe limitations on touch so that many people feel constrained or avoid it. Bad idea! Learn to touch those you love in ways that they enjoy. This should be done everyday, all during the day, and be as much a part of life as food or sleep.

In today's society touch and sex have often become confused. While sex involves touching, touch does not necessarily involve sex. Some people see touching as a violation of their person space. Some groups, cultures touch each other much more than others. What is acceptable varies considerably within a home and within a culture. And yet the basic need for all of us to be touched is essential and needs to be addressed.

RELEVANCE TO ABUSE: I believe a healthy relationship between lovers or parents and children should involve touch. Touch is very reassuring. However, beware of people who withhold touch to further their purposes. Abusive people can use touch in a variety of ways: to manipulate, to punish or to send mixed messages.

RELATED WORDS AND PHRASES: touch, touching, expressive, demonstrate, demonstrativeness

Prev | Next | Contents