COPING, COUNTERING AND DEALING
AbusiveLove.com -- Verbal Abuse Self-Help and Recovery
Do-It-Yourself Tactics For Coping

Marriage Max


  FOR MORE ABOUT SELF-HELP OR RECOVERY CLICK NEXT OR PREVIOUS
Resources

STAY IN TOUCH WITH FAMILY AND FRIENDS
Call anywhere, any time, any phone USA or Canada for 1.9 cents a minute. Top quality connection.

SAVE YOUR RELATIONSHIP

Instant Ebooks
== Unusual Marriage Self-Help Book
== It's Not Hopeless; Bring back your love
== Save The Marriage eBook
== Break Free From The Affair

HAVE BETTER RELATIONSHIPS
== 1000 Questions For Couples
== 500 Lovemaking Tips & Secrets
== 300 Creative Dates - By Oprah Expert
== The Sexually Skilled Husband


Prev | Next | Contents


3.00 VERBAL ABUSE SELF-HELP: COPING, COUNTERING AND DEALING

In this section, I offer specific strategies for coping and countering verbal abuse. If you have been in an abusive relationship for a while you will go through several steps or stages as you employ each tactic.

==== First: Become aware.

You will need to observe your disagreements and arguments and become conscious of the strategies the other person is using against you. You will probably find you have been unaware of many of the methods the other persons employs. Also look for things that you are doing wrong. Are you being unfair, are you starting to yell first, for example? Spend a number of weeks simply noticing how you interact with the other person before you begin to counter what you perceive as abuse.

==== Second: Use the tactics for responding outlined in the next thirteen pages.

Don't try to do it all at once. If you see that the other person uses one strategy a lot, you might try dealing with that for starters. Respond gently at first, don't over do it. You will need to go to the next step to understand how to proceed.

==== Third: Observe how the person reacts to your new way of responding.

Does the person get angry? Does the person listen? Does the person seem willing to learn? Does the person see your new response as a ploy to gain power?

==== Fourth: Be more forceful, more assertive.

Once you have a sense of how the other person reacts, be assertive. Expect to met more resistance when you do this.

==== Fifth: If you hit a brick wall and get nowhere, make a mental note of this. When and if the two of you go into counseling, you should detail what happened during these encounters.

For Specific Examples Of Verbal Abuse And How To Respond, Click Here

Prev | Next | Contents


Verbal Abuse
Self-Help & Recovery


Table Of Contents
Keeping A Notebook
Getting Started
Family History & Love
Your Identity
Dealing With Abusers
Coping, Countering
Belittling
Name Calling
Yelling
Interruptions
Not Listening
Repetitions
Anger
Distractions
Compromising
Empathy
Feelings
Selfishness
Criticism
Self-Help Resources
More Self-Help Resources

AbusiveLove.com
Home Page
Blog Of Personal Observations
Table Of Contents
Types, Categories
Terms, Concepts
Links
Link To Us

Marriage Max



AbusiveLove.com
Love Should Not Hurt
Love should be life giving not life destroying
A Web Site By Richard (Rick) deGaris Doble, M.A.
Author, Editor, Webmaster
Copyright © Richard deGaris Doble 2006