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3.01 BELITTLING, HOW TO RESPOND -- SELF-HELP TACTICS FOR COPING WITH VERBAL ABUSE

== #1. How to cope with belittling, demeaning, devaluing, humiliating, mocking.

Insist that this stop before you go on; point out that you have not done this.

Often the other person will reply in turn that you have no sense of humor, that the person did not mean it, that you should not be so sensitive or that you are taking the person's words the wrong way. I suggest you ignore all of this and say something simple and emphatic such as, "I hear what you are saying but I still don't like it, so don't do it." This is a clear unambiguous, mildly assertive statement of how you feel and what you want. In addition it states that you did listen to what the other person said. Make sure that you say this in a serious tone of voice without smiling so that you don't send mixed signals and so that your meaning cannot be misconstrued.

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If a sometime later, the other person belittles you again, remind him or her that you "meant what you said." If this behavior continues, insist that you both see a counselor.

See these related ideas: See these related ideas: dismissive, respect, devalue, self-esteem

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