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3.10 LACK OF EMPATHY, HOW TO RESPOND -- SELF-HELP TACTICS FOR COPING WITH VERBAL ABUSE

== #10. How to cope with a lack of understanding about your feelings.

State your feelings about the matter clearly. Make sure that the person hears you. Do not go on until you are certain he/she knows how you feel.

Abusers are really interested in themselves. Most have tuned your feelings out or simply are incapable of understanding your feelings. In either case make an extra effort to say how you feel. They must understand your side or nothing can be accomplished.

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Personal Note: In my own life, my 1st wife did not understand what I felt -- even though it was obvious to everyone else. When I realized that she did not understand, it was a big shock to me. I left her partly because she never asked how I felt. For example, her tearful efforts to get me back were all about her, such as "I love you. I can't live without you," but my feelings were never mentioned.

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