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3.03 YELLING, HOW TO RESPOND -- SELF-HELP TACTICS FOR COPING WITH VERBAL ABUSE

== #3. How to cope with yelling, when there is no reason.

Lower your own voice; set an example; refuse to go on until the volume level goes down. Leave if it does not. Yelling and loudness is an escalation of abuse and it will only get worse. HOWEVER, if you are calm and stay and the other person keeps shouting even though you tell him or her to stop, you are within your rights to raise your voice after a while. Nevertheless, this is a dangerous game; by doing this you can easily fall into the same old shouting pattern that you are trying to avoid. So if you must shout, do it sparingly and when it will do the most good. Once you have the abuser's attention, drop your voice level IMMEDIATELY.

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It is crucial you do not begin the yelling. You must be able to honestly point out, that the other person started it and refused to stop. Yelling is a very bad sign. It means that neither party is really listening and that emotions rather than reason have taken over.

See these related sections: child like behavior

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